Hell talks

Dear blog,

How are you? Im fine btw, not really fine, but still breathing, and I thank God for that. I am at the mo is sick, well biasalah flu, batuk and demam. With super headache. And my gums are swollen too. Set Komplit. Who could ask for more? :)

I finished my exams, but then, the sense of being free is not that liberating. I left half of my exams sheets empty and I know the lecturers will be quick with my sheets, its that empty. Well, its done. I dont have anyone else to blame it on but myself. Blog, never blame anyone else tau. Kalau something happens, blame yourself first. Maybe You are the reason it happens. And never be ashamed of saying sorry. It is allowed. And apologizes should always be accepted, because you never knew how hard for a person to just say the word 'SORRY'. So think of the other person efforts too okay?

Lately I have been whining a lot. And I have tell it all to you. That is not me, whining all the time. I hope I wont be that person forever. Because it may make some people hate me. I hate people hating me. I keep on thinking that sometimes, we do what we do. We just do. We dont need to think why we do this, why we do that. Should we keep explaining ourselves? Especially when its involving someones life, heart, feeling? The term is 'menjaga hati'. What people dont know, wont hurt them, the phrase is not wrong, kan?

I have been living 22 years of not explaining every single thing that I do. I just do. But perhaps in the 22nd year of my life, I need to start explaining. Explaining is a hard job y'all. Macam kerja cikgu. Its tough okay. My mum is a teacher, and she comes home exhausted every single day because her energy has been sucked out while giving knowledge to the hyperactive kids. I guess I hate explaining. I was never a talker, thats why I sucked at public speaking, or impromptu speech. I hate explaining. And I never had too much idea about things. I dont know how to elaborate and piece things together. So thats a career I have to cross out. Private Investigator.

There I go again, whining away. Guess the new me is staying here for a while after all. My mum used to say I am her most stubborn child, and I myself know, that trait is improving by the years.

So blog, just finishing and I just wanna say, Chill lah.

Regards, Qila

Nota #1

Siri Nota adalah siri untuk peringatan kepada diri sendiri.

SILA BELAJAR MEMBUANG SIFAT MANJA ANDA. ORANG TAK SUKA LAYAN. HARAP MAKLUM PADA DIRI SENDIRI.

Sekian.

dear parents.

Ibu dengan ayah pesan belajar elok-elok.
And I am going to do just that for tomorrow.

Sorry ibu, ayah. Qila kadang-kadang leka.

I miss you both so so much.

I burnt my finger. It hurts. Ill keep sucking my finger until it feels numb. And perhaps Ill sleep over it. I promise I'll call tomorrow. Talking just now for 2:33 minutes just doesnt cut it. I miss you both.

All I ever wanted was to make you both happy, and I will. I promise I will.

For everything ive done wrong, I am sorry, and I love u both so much.

Humbly and sincerely.
your middle daughter.

rojaks

 Gee masakkkk. Haha

 Donashiiii. Sedapp

 

 The tipu casio watches, I think they give me rashes. Argh. The silver one is the original one :)

 

 makanan seronok di kala sakit nak demam. twiggies and FULL CREAM milk :)). Fatty fattyyyy

 

 The kelabu and the abang. Pweety, tengah dibasuh beraknya haih.

 Salam :)

Not much too write, im in the middle of studying because tonight i am going to partee soo malas nak baca malam. am pulun-ing in the day. tak kesah dah kalau fail pun, I CAN GRAD ALREADY! am not coming back unless for convocation yeehaa. its raining and i hope our bbq is still on haih. i miss my bf but he is sleeping bcos he already had his last exam. my feet is fast asleep and i hate the semut2 feeling afterwards. am bloated with cadbury bytes and delicia butterscotch. i need a home cook meal that i cook myself and i need to get myself organized. i have tons of things lined up for me once i stepped on KT soil, namely learn to drive, catching up with my bffs and also job seeking. im giving myself tempoh until end of this year, no job, means im going to further. that way i will have my master before i am 25 i'Allah. if got job, will be very kedekut bcos have to divide the money. PARENTS, PTPTU woops PTPTN, car loans, FUEL haih, neccesities (hope ill get a job in KT if not have to pay house rent summo), AQILAH-for president fund and future savings. Many responsibilities and I am just 22 huwaa. Help, i need a future planner, job planner, life planner and budget planner, ASAP. not complaining about my life, so far its been a bliss, tapi sooner or later i have to be my own person and i dont have the luxury to just take a year off and go backpacking or go for a journey of soulsearching. those are craps, they only want to delay the process of being an adult. after a year, 2 years, XX years if u still dont find 'yourself' what do r u gonna do? be someone else? now u got my point kan, soulsearching is crap. haha. bitter la today ish. 

so whats your graduation story? tee hee.

btw nescafe black roast tak sedap. and did i tell i save rm300 due to my saman being taken care of? yay. saving. now have to diet if not will have to SPEND BANYAK DUIT DUE TO NEW CLOTHES. the old ones wont fit anymore. i sayang my old clothes, nak pakai NAK PAKAI NAK PAKAIII. have harus wajib perlu muat old clothes. support sikit pls ppl. nak look stunning time convo. so boyfriend will be very proud and sayang me more. and the other boys can just look and gigit their jari knowing i am soo happilyyy takennnn.

ngarot dah, i need to study fluid. sori 4 the rojak entry, i am not stable at the mo.

lagu usher yeah tenet te net, tenet te net. I LOVEEEEEE

Regards, Qila

sick.

Salam. :|

I am officially not well. Cough, fever, flu. And bersin ALL the time.

Dah lama tak kena. Tak apa, ada sebab laa ni nikmat kena tarik sikit. Alhamdulillah.. :)

Tapi kesian sangat tgk pweety gigil tadi. Diorang cakap dia demam jugak. First time tgk kucing gigil. Haru..

Hoping we both get well soon.

Regards, Qila

of listsss.

Salam. :)

Its freaking hot and I feel like I want to take baths every 10 minutes. Panas gila. I miss my aircond so much. Huaaa. Lagi pulak have to study A LOT tak sanggup rasanya with this heat. Thats why I like to sleep first and then try bangun at 3-4 am, its cooler. Tapi dont have time to laze around, kena study study studyyyy.

So few things I want to do :
1. to book Putra Brasmana for my convo! Surat konvo dah sampai, CONFIRM saya akan grad this August yayyy.
2. to register in PROSBOC, haha gedikkk. Pls Gee, support me okay haha, nak the tshirt :)
3. to settle my exams and what nots in Uni
4. to get better, the cough is the worst.
5. to have fun with the boyfriend and bestfriendssss
6. LEARN TO DRIVE PROPERLY.
7. stop shopping. :)

Add nanti2 lah pulak. Have to study. Taraaa

Regards, Qila

Saat kau ingat aku, ku ingat kau :)

 Karena Ku Cinta Kau - Bunga Citra Lestari

Jika ada yang bilang ku lupa kau
Jangan kau dengar
Jika ada yang bilang ku tak setia
Jangan kau dengar

Banyak cinta yang datang mendekat
Ku menolak
Semua itu karena ku cinta kau

Jika ada yang bilang ku tak baik
Jangan kau dengar
Jika ada yang bilang ku berubah
Jangan kau dengar

Banyak cinta yang datang mendekat
Ku menolak
Semua itu karena ku cinta kau
Kau

Reff:
Saat kau ingat aku ku ingat kau
Saat kau rindu aku juga rasa
Ku tahu kau slalu ingin denganku
Ku lakukan yang terbaik yang bisa ku lakukan
Tuhan yang tahu ku cinta kau

Jika kau tak percaya pada ku
Sakitnya aku
Jika kau lebih dengar mereka
Sedih hatiku
Banyak cinta yang datang mendekat
Ku menolak
Semua itu karena ku cinta kau
Kau

Back to Reff:

Saat kau ingat aku ku ingat kau
Saat kau rindu aku juga rasa
Ku tahu kau slalu ingin denganku
Kau tahu ku juga ingin denganmu
Ku tahu kau slalu ingin denganku
Ku lakukan yang terbaik yang bisa ku lakukan
Tuhan yang tahu ku cinta kau

The lyrics are simple and straight from the heart, kan? :) It always makes me smile. A song about trying to comvince her love one about her loving him, only him. Can't get any simpler than this.