Of feelings.

Salam :|

So. Here I am. Hmm. How to start? This is a place where you can tell things, kan? It still is, for me. Tak reti nak cakap macam mana. Blur gila. Kepala berat, mata pun berat. The heat is not helpingggg. Buat makin teruk ada lah. Nak balik rumah boleh? :(

Things that you don't know how to turn into words. And you resort to tears whenever nobody's looking. I did tell that Im good at crying silently. Have had years and years of training. ;)

Even as Im writing ni rasa tak sedap hati. Rasa berat. Rasa something is going to happen. Well I know something is going to happen kalau I stay this way. Buat perangai sial ni. I really, really, REALLY need to change the attitude. Tapi sometimes perangai budak2 takes over and I become sgt2 childish. I realize that tapi kenapa tak boleh nak halang langsung perasaan tu. Siap boleh cakap kat diri sendiri 'Please senyum please, please jangan roll your eyes please, please talk please, please be matured PLEASE.' Tapi, ada saya ikut? Nopeeee.

Sebab apa? Sebab saya seorang Aqila. Ha ha double ha.

Regards, Qila.

the 22nd :)

So i am officially 22 years and a day old. Yayy hehe. Alhamdulillah dapat celebrate with the fam sebab cuti CNY is ALWAYS during February, and mid terms are on February so yea, birthdays are always at home :) Family dinner on the 17th, makan2 besar (minus the sista) i had fun. No presents, yet. Its coming a lil bit late. Tp Ill b patient :). On the 18th, had suprise dinner + birthday celebration with the girls, Dalia and Mra, with Mra's bf, Anis which is also a February baby. So sekali celebrate lah. Was cool. Datang2 rumah with cakes and candles, it was a nice suprise. Effort mereka untuk nyalakan lilin walau tak reti guna lighter sgt2 dihargai hahaahaha.

The cuppies for the sistaaa

Gee da sampai tanah Malaysia, Alhamdulillah semua selamat. Will be seeing him soon insyaAllah. :D

Tak tau nak tulis apa dah. Till then,

Regards, Qila

Try in

the sista is on that plane, perhaps already sleeping

And the people yang tertinggal di KT, enjoying what KT has best, ikan, sotong celup tepung yang sedaaap.

FB and celcom SMS wat hal. Aish, jgn dong. Gmn gwe mau sms ama pacar kalau kalian lg bikin payah.. Ish, nyebelin ni. Kalian kasi waktu 2 hari lagi ama gwe, selepas itu, pacar gwe udah pulang ya gwe ga ganggu kalian lagiii ya ya yaaaa?

Huu. Sindrom keanehan disebabkan FB. Haih.

Da la nak tgk Tokyo Drift CD tak berfungsi pulak. Fast and Furious pun macam tu. Last resort tgk Vampire's Assistant la kot. Aaaaaa!!!!

I will keep trying to send msgs tru FB kepada anda Gee. Tgk, saya sgt gigih. Sweetkan? Hahaahaha

Regards, Qila

Cakes

Salam. :)

What a nice day. Everyday is a nice day when it's a holiday. Kan? Hahaha. So woke up early, sbb bf di sana bgn extra awal utk melantak breakfast yang dibilang enakkkk. Buat saya jeles saja oke! I missed ayam penyeeettttt. :(( Tapi saya breakfast nasi minyak pagi tadi, nasi minyak favourite saya. Macam ayah beli kat Jalan Kamaruddin punya, tapi entah la. Lupa nak tanya haha. Yang penting, SEDAP! Kat mana lagi nak makan nasi minyak for breakfast kalau bukan kat Trg? Kat Perlis tak mungkin kot. Hahaha.

So dear sista akan pulang flight jam 4 nanti, bake ANOTHER batch of cuppies for her to take home. Batch yang ini best gila kot hahaah. Ehem, masuk bakul, jom angkat sendiri yokkk. Haha. So there will be 4 of us in the house. Yang sgt tak aci is she is coming home again for Maulidurrasul, while me, well Im stuck at Perlis, macam biasaaaa. Huuuu.

Is watching The Lovely Bones, Part 2 sebab was so sleepy last night so off dulu cite tu and nak sambung today. And also planning mahu ke Mee Soya the cake ingredients shop sebab nak beli barang2 for buttercream. My cousin and I nak sama2 buat deco for the cuppies togetherrrr hehe. This is FUNNN. Sebab we talk the same language haha. Bila kitorg cakap psl kek, yang lain terkulat2 tgk so yea cakes do have its own language hehe.

Sambil update blog sambil FB msg bersama bf. Hehe. I likeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Regards, Qila

4 fishes

Salam :)

Entry pendek sebelum tidur. Ehe. Layan2 mata jap. Im so full today. Hari yang penuh dengan makanan dari pagi sampai malam. Yang paling best is dinner tadi. Makan besarrrrrr. Order macam2 and yg terbaik adalah kitorg dibelanja oleh kawan ayah he he he. Ufah planned to belanja tonight tapi rezeki kitorang kot, so heheh Alhamdulillah..

Siang bake another batch of cuppies.. Tapi cuba resepi lain plak. Rasa lain sket, need improvisasi kot. Hehe. Esok cuba lagi hahhaa. I bake everyday sekarang wahahahah cool2.

Oke sekarang tiba part melepaskan rindu pada boyfriend. Ya saya rindu anda banyak2. Sila balik cepat, smpai tanah Malaysia sila 3g oke? Haha. Take care be safe. Nak nyanyi lagu Jangan Nakal, tapi I know you wont do anything aneh2. Hahah.

And did I mention that I love Facebook? And Celcom SMS? Hahaha

Oke off to sleep, nitey!

Regards, Qila

yayyyyyyyyyyyness

Salam :D

Thank God for WiFi at his hotel's cafe. And thank God for Facebook!!

Will sleep with a smile tonight. ILY :D

Jauh

Salam :)

I am now officially in my blue room at home sweet home. Sampai pagi tadi around 615am, sama masa dengan Gee sampai dekat airport. So stayed up until he checked-in and talk for a while before he boarded the flight, saying take cares and have funs. Well, it will be another wek before I can see him again, face to face but we are always on the phone or texting each other during holidays. Ni with RM2/ msg, its expansive to have texting marathons like we always do. And it makes me really, really grumpy sbb Im used to texting him ALL the time hahaahaahha. But thanks to Celcom SMS, we get to update each other via Facebook, and knowing he's oke and having fun with the family, is good enough for me. :)

Bake cuppies for the family siang tadi, the main reason is to take my mind off thinking of him *sigh* Glad the family likes it. And ibu cooking ayam masak lemak cili api just made my dayyyyy. Sedap kot. Dah lama tak makan kot. Heavennnnn. :) So planning to enjoy the holidays as much as possible sebab no more hols after this, its all work baby!

I guess tonight will be going to sleep early, nobody to 3g with.

Till then,

Regards, Qila

Going home.

Salam :|

So here I am, at W.Ulu alone in my room, listening to Yuna's Missing Star while thinking about the misery Im going through tonight and also thinking of the BF yang sekarang is on his way to KL with the family. Malam ni Im going back to KT woohoo. Can't wait. And Gee's flight is also tomorrow. He's going to BDG and JKT waaaa. No 3g for so many days. How?? Qila, bertabah!

Tgh packing things for KT, barang2 kek dah penuh beg. Adui. Guess I wont be bringing home anything else la. Hehe. Can't wait to start baking kat rumah yayyyy. :D

Yesterday delivered 8 boxes x 25 cuppies to Angah's customers. 200 biji kot. Gila ah. Hahaha. Tahniah Angah! :D

Balik KT mlm ni rasa ringan sebab my project is going smoothly, made 18 cubes already so buka sem will proceed with another 18 cubes. Dah mula cerah sket la. I hope. Hehe. I just have to grad this coming August. Mesti. Grad dengan kawan2, must be fun kan? :D

Utk family Gee, have fun and enjoy the trip! Indonesia is one pretty place :) and to my family, Im coming home tonight, malam esok kita makan besar oke? :)) Loves....!

Doakan saya malam ni selamat sampai berjumpa dengan keluarga tercinta. I miss them much much much!

Regards, Qila

I gotta feeling

Salam :)

Dulu masa sekolah saya pernah jadi prefect. Pakai baju hijau, kain hijau, tudung hijau. Lain dari kawan2 yang pakai baju putih, tudung putih dan kain biru. Rasa special. Bila pulak diberitahu yang pakai baju hijau ni adalah yang terpilih. Diberi pulak kuasa untuk ambil nama, beri hukuman, menakut2 kan junior. Power is addictive you know?

Tu masa kecik tu. Dah pandai nak gunakan kuasa. Apatah lagi kalau dah besar. Kat univesiti tak ada pengawas. Nobody controls nobody. Level yang ada cuma pelajar, juruteknik, pelatih vokasional (PLV), jurutera mengajar dan pensyarah. Semakin tinggi hierarki, pasti makin banyak kuasa, kan? Tapi macam mana kita gunakan kuasa tu yang penting. Kuasa boleh buat orang takut, atau hormat pada anda. So which one you're gonna choose? Hari ni saya ter'experience' orang yang menggunakan kuasanya untuk buat subordinates takut. So bila kita dengan tak sengaja berada di teritory dia, semasa dia dalam lingkungan dia yang berkuasa, tempias pun kena kat kita.

Terkejut sekejap, saya tak pernah kena macam tu. And I think I acted very formally depan dia, altho we were friends before he upped his level. Saya rasa saya jaga air muka dia, saya hormat dia. Tapi bila kena macam tu, saya rasa malu. Mungkin saya salah, tapi bahasa yang saya dapat tak padan dengan kesalahan saya. I don't deserve it at all. Mungkin dia bad mood, mungkin dia memang berkarekter pemarah depan subordinates, tapi bukan saya yang ada masalah dengan dia, dan saya tak harus dilayan macam tu. This shows tak kira lah macam mana kenal dengan seseorang, tak kira macam mana rapat la dengan seseorang, you can never guess what he/ she can do to you. You just can't read people anymore.

So this memory will take a while to be forgotten, and even if I ever do, perhaps I won't laugh as much with you macam dulu2. Kena ingat, hierarki kita beza2. And saya harap, saya takkan jadi macam tu. I'Allah.

Regards, Qila

Missc

Salam :)

Weekdays dah mula for this week. Yester-Sunday was one of the nicest, relaxing Sunday for me. Err? Lepas bergigih jual cuppies hari Sabtu, I spent Sunday dengan penuh malas. Hee. Woke up late, spend some time and money at Star Parade, membeli wedges Gold (yayy) and makan Prosperity Chicken. Da lama tak makannn hehe. Angah makan double Prosperity, sangat gigih. And kasut anda menawan.. I likeeee. Hahahah. Pun tengok barang2 cuppies.. Shopping nozzles and stuffs lagi. Adui. Banyak ni hahah. And then malam nya pulak melantak KFC sambil tengok Phobia 2. Kesan dan akibat dia = bangun lambat di hari sekolah. Haih.

Bangun lambat, rushing, benda misplaced. Aih. Tengok2 benda yang dicari ada bawah botol Ribena. Nasib jumpa, altho menggunakan masa selama 30 minit jugakla untuk mencari. Moral dia, sila sentiasa bertenang. Hahaha. Lawak laa Acici. Hee.

Petang tadi test English. Was oke, tapi tengoklah macam mana. Makan lunch kat Fatin Corner at 5pm, then cuci mata tengok orang main tenis. Cool. Cari burger kambing, abang tu tak bukak. Pls lah abang, saya dah tahap mengidam ni!

Esok test lagi. Tak baca apa pun ni. Wish me luck k. Heee.

Some of the pics i love love love

At cuppies booth, loves this.

Muka gemok check jawapan akaun. Aih.

Lunch somewhere last week. Courtesy K. Farah :)

And tadaaaa. Him, some time last week :)

Nak baca Advanced Packaging jap. Japppppp je. Hehehehehhehe.

Regards, Qila

Heehee

Salam. :)

Im fine now, after emm a lil bit emo thingy going on few days before, so yea. The feeling sucks, tak tipu, tapi, we learn something la kan. Supaya tak buat benda sama lagi..

Futsal pics malas nak upload, can see in my fb account je. He he.

Semalam saya dan Angah berjual cupcakes time event Talentime kat KKF. Alhamdulillah cupcakes yang beratus tu selamat dijual.. Heheheheeheh. Seronok. Meriah tu boleh la.. Hehe. Nak expect apa, tiba2 hujan semalam, haish. Tak sia2 tidur kul 530 pagi sebab nak siapkan cupcakes semua. :D

Lapar ni. Tunggu orang tu cakap nak beli breakfast. Nangis karang..

silently.

Salam. :|

Its 3 in the morning and Im stil wide awake. How do you expect me to sleep when my head is still thinking about what had happened. It spins round and round, reliving the moments, the words, the cold atmosphere. Its 3 in the morning and Im sweating because of my panic attacks. I can't seem to close my eyes, without feeling sorry for myself, for falling too hard. Well it just shows the deeper I feel, the harder I fall. It hurts, but I will never look back, because one moment of bliss, is equivalent with hundred moments of tears. Im starting to sound like my old self, and I better stop before Im her again.

Its 3 in the morning and I gotta feeling at 8 am I wont get good mornings, I wont get any I love yous and I wont get any take cares. A girl can dream, but I was always a realist. I trained myself not to dream, not to have too much hope until recently, when I started to believe in you and me. I guess life is not  a bed of roses. Well maybe it is, but there were too many thorns, more than the roses that I can see. Ouch.

Its 3 in the morning and I keep on thinking about the good things, rather than the bad, and I hope the person over there is thinking the same too. I have always been this way, and you have always been that. I accepted that, long ago. Perhaps I am too extreme, and some people can't stand me, and I admit, its not anyone's fault. Not mine, and not yours.

Its 3 in the morning and I started to fell wetness in my eyes, which I have been trying to ignore for the last few hours ago. And now, in the dark, I don't think I can hold it anymore. If I close my eyes now, will it stop? Or will it continue to flow? I hope the roomate won't notice, Im good at crying silently.

Regards, Qila.

Moodless

Salam. :(

Tak ada mood for anything. No updates. Nothing. Malas.

Regards, Qila

Silver

Salam :)

Baru balik lepas ngedate dengan Gee. Perut SANGAT kenyang. Rasa nak terkeluar balik dah. Air pun banyak gila minum, tapi still haus. Kembong da nii..

Sekarang tengah tunggu Gee hantar report yang dia dah selamat sampai baru boleh lelap. Im seriously tired, futsal-ing from 9am until 430pm, then ikut the guys with A'a main tenis until 7pm. Time yang tak letih bila tgk muka Gee je hahhaha manis sangat saya ni hahahha.

So futsal dapat 2nd place. Alhamdulillah. Pics are coming up, too tired to transfer the pics.. Hehe. Detail punya cerita later la k.

Oke lah nak tunggu Gee sampai ni.

Till then,

Regards, Qila