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Salam :D

Muka si bebulat menghiasi page anda..
Im getting sleepy, Ill update tomorrow lah. :)

Regards,Qila

Duit?

Salam.. ;)

So a lot of people around me are getting married or engaged, i would also, iAllah when the time comes. When the costs of the marriage itself is A LOT, i believe i can still cut down the cost, bcos in the end, it all comes down to you to make the choices.

Such as door gift. You seriously wanna give something that cost rm3 such as chocolate/mug/cupcakes to random ppl? If you got the money to splurge why not? But for me, eggs will always be my choice. Bcos eggs itself is a symbol of fertility, and hey, people can eat them! When I got the cute chocolates/cupcakes, I usually sayang to makan, and then berkulat like that je. Sayang kannn? Even eggs pon you can give them in nice box or put some stickers on them saying Thank you or what nots. Boleh saja donk!

Food is something I wont cut cost on. So good food = pricey tag. No prob, I dont want my guests to sakit perut or say Tak Sedappp. Not the way I want my guest to remind me of ;)

Baju. 1 outfit is enough. Banyak2 panas. 1 at my side, 1 at his. Sudahhhh. ;)

Hantaran. We will work something out, is not going to buy IPAD/IPHONE/SAMSUNG whatnots. Maybe shirts, songket (Terengganu is famous for those), bag, wallet, shoes those stuffs. We still need money for life after the kenduri.

Miscellaneous things, such as cards, photographer, titbits.. bla bla..

And guess what. Although I seem to cut all I can, it still amounts up to 20k for my side. Its a realistic figure, that one is EXCLUDING  house rents, bills, car payment,food for two after married. Hahaha. All of that for one day event. If I have my way, I am sure I can cut 1/3 of that, but not sure the family will go for it. HMM.

Butttt, although you can not cut cost for the event, you can cut cost by buying your honeymoon at Groupon! Bless this website, got Bali, Langkawi, Cambodia.. Langkawi ones look tempting.. So Qila wait for your honeymoooonnn hehe.

Nota : Entri ni adalah suka2 sahaja. I am NOT getting amrried in the near future. No plans yet. Moga dipermudahkan segalanya. And yeah, I believe one of the ways to save money is without having Engagement Day. Terus kahwin sajaaa. Hehe. Tapi sekali lagi diulangi, if you have the money, why not? Go ahead. As for me, working hard for money makes me very calculative, and I try cutting where I can.Berpijak di bumi yang nyata sambil mngecilkan periuk supaya keraknya juga nipis.

Sampai nanti.

Regards,
Qla

Happy Anniversary, Sayang.

Salam :)

As per the title, 23rd Oct 2011 will be my 2 years anniversary with Gee. Its been 2 years since the day we both had McD at the Alor Star Stadium, sealing our friendship into a relationship. It was truly one of my most cherished day, the day I become half yours.Ill be fully yours the day when dear daddy shake your hands, and that day, Ill have 2 men to be my crying shoulders. Damn I love you both.

Did you remember how malu i was at that time?
Did you noticed I was smiling so wide my face could crack?
Did you know how happy I was?
:))

So sayang,

Thanks,
For being my boyfriend.
For being patient.
For always being there, altho I know sometimes I can be a little too much
For taking care of me, because my parents trusts you, a lot.
For making me happy.
For being YOU.

We'll celebrate our birthday ni nanti k?
Ill wait for you.
Bcos 1 day, 2 days, a week is nothing, bcos if you promise me you'll be here, Ill just wait.
And you'll know where to find me.
:)

Rgrds,
Qila

Introducing :)

Salam..

Its raining.. mmg kondusif utk tido ni hehe. Lgpun I am super tired due to the last 2 days mmg sgt hectic.. Letih sgt.

Se let me introduce to you my new baby :

my blackberry curve 8520 at the left. Oke yang kanan boleh ignore, thats my company phone hee :D

Rasa sgt puas hati beli sebab it was using my own money, keja gigih2 and I treat myself with this thangg, although hanyalah low end punya model but then there's always room to upgrade the phone, IAllah ada rezeki nnt kan hehe. So skrg masih kenal mengenal my bb, using Bis Bonus saja bcos I dont want to use line, it costs too much ;(

What I like about bb is its simple, its basic, but its another level of simplicity and basic. Sgt best for me bcos it has the func that I need plus func len2 like the FB and Twitter. Just nice bcos I am a FB junkie so yeaaa :)

And the BBM, gets me connected with my Indo friends, for freeeee.. and we can BBM while at work, haha bcos sometimes I can get a little bored, so kacau2 here and there.. Naiss.

Skrg just need to pujuk dear bf beli bb jgk. Your tabby is nice, but its nicer if you can BBM me too :)

Rgrds,
Qla

101111

Salam :)

Hari ni puasa, iAllah nak puasa all week and mestilah teringin makan mcm2 kan..
So free sket kat office google la sambal bilis sebab teringin nak makan dgn kurma ayam ptg nnt :)

Sambal Bilis dan Kentang :

4 biji kentang


1 cawan ikan bilis belah

3 ulas bawang merah (ditumbuk)

1 ulas bawang putih (ditumbuk)

3 sudu makan cili boh (boleh dikurang/tambah)

2 sudu makan sos tiram

1-2 sudu makan madu (option)

Minyak utk menggoreng & menumis
 
_____________________________________

1. Kentang dikupas kulit, potong bentuk wedges, goreng hingga perang dan ketepikan
   
2. Ikan bilis dicuci bersih, goreng hingga garing dan ketepikan
3. Tumiskan bahan tumbuk hingga wangi dan garing.Masukkan cili boh,tumis sampai pecah minyak.Kemudian masukkan pula sos tiram dan madu.
4. Kemudian masukkan kentang dan ikan bilis.Gaul sebati.Siap untuk dihidang
5. SELAMAT MENCUBA

Resipi from myresipi.com :)

Kentang tu kalau sagat halus2 and crispy mesti lagi best! Ni yg seronok buat sambal sebab hari tu gigih buat cili boh sendiri. Cili boh jual kat sini semua pucat2. Dontch likeeee. :( So beli cili kering kat Giant, rendam dgn air suam, blend dengan bawang besar, bawang putih and sedikit halia bagi wangi. Garam masuk secubit. Tak payah banyak sebab nnt masak tambah garam lagi.. :) Puas ati tgk warna merah menyala cili boh buatan sendiri. Pedas plak tu. Terangkatttt.

Oke, sambung keje, kang nak balik on time katenye. Mak kena masak untuk anak2 ikan kat rumah. Hee.

Regards, Qila

Sunday Night

Salam :)

Was watching my housemates getting ready for their dates :) such a nice feeling. I miss night dates, we used to have it so often during uni days. It was niceeeee. But now, due to the distance that Gee or me has to travel after the end of each date, we usually say goodbye at 5 or 6 pm, so either of us will reach not later than 9 o'clock either Jitra/Kulim. And lagipun I usually sleep at 10pm, making it impossible for me to go anywhere after 9pm especially on a weekday. But we ganti the time by seeing each other the earliest as possible, and try to do a lot of things in a short amount of time. Right now, knowing he is safe and sound is enough for me, although sometimes I miss him so much I will start my perangai and piss him off gila2. Sorry b!

I am grateful for the late nights during our uni years, and I am grateful for the days we share, doesnt matter if its just an hour during my lunch, or the whole day during a Sunday. I am just grateful for u. Spending time with  my loved one, meaning my fam, your fam, and YOU is the most cherished part of my life. My highlight of the week. :)

Looking forward to spend the rest of my life with you you you. :)

Rgrds, Qila

27th!

Salam :)

Gaji dah masuk! Yeayy. 25% masuk tabung hee.
Tapi still dalam dilemma nak beli tak telepon baru.

Aiyoo ammaaaa!

You

Salam :)

I have a lot of friends from high school in FB. Well 70% of my FB friends comes from my college days, tapi ada lah that 20% comes from my high school.. And yang I can see is ramai antara mereka berpasangan dengan kawan2 semasa sekolah juga. The one that I never thought they could end up with. Hehe. It seems that no matter how far you search for that special someone, you had already meet them. They were in front of you all along. Maybe mereka dah ketemu jodoh, mungkin semasa belajar, tapi kemudian jodoh tu tak kekal lama, jumpa kawan2 sekolah and then poof! Chemistry all over again. Hahah. Tapi I kenot tahan if that happen to me. I mean I have some history at school, and I prefer to leave them in the past. Lagipun all of my schoolmates treat me like Im some kind of adik although at that moment, I was bigger than some of em. I was hugeeee although not as hugeeee as now hahaa. Lets just say if I could tun back time I will want to change just 1 thing, of not falling too hard, and was broken by the falling. I wish no one would ever felt the feeling I was feeling at that time, it was cruel yaww. I was 16, hurting, but yet I survived my first heartbreak, and I was stronger than ever :) #SayaGenerasi nyanyi lagu Stronger bila putus cinta :)

Well for me, my jodoh right now is Gee, whom I met when I was 19, someone who I was curious of, but never get the chance to know (you got some history,too mister!). Tapi namanya jodoh, the chemistry datang 2 years later, I was 21, I fell in love, and still is falling every day. :) Look at where we are right now, close to 2 years old hunnybee :) Lets both be two mature beings and not play with each others heart, bcos my family loves you like i love you, much. And they will kill anybody who hurt me, I can promise that :)

So konklusinya, jodoh kita maybe classmate darjah 1 dulu. Maybe yang slalu tarik kerusi kita time kita nak duduk. Maybe yang selalu buat kita nangis. Atau maybe nerd pakai spek tebal, tapi sekarang muka dah macam Aaron Aziz. Jodoh kita maybe tengah tunggu je nak jumpa kita, atau maybe abang diploma yang baru masuk kelas masa second year :) Mana nak tahu mana jodoh kita, sampai lah tiba masa ayah kita salam tangan dia, and serah tanggungjawab untuk jaga kita, tanggung dosa kita and guide kita. Masa tu lah kita boleh tengok dia dalam-dalam and bagi hidup kita untuk dia lead sbb masa tu, kita dah jdi hak dia.

Hehe. I am feeling mellow. I will finish my glass of milk, and go to sleep. Nite :)

Regards, Qila

Life has been good..

Salam.. :)

Huyoo lama tak update woo.. Ihik. Ntah le, mood dari Ramadhan sampai nak abes Syawal dah ni. Mcm tuuu je hahah. Hows life has been for the past few months for me? Same ol' Same ol'.. Family Alhamdulillah, Kerja Alhamdulillah, Kwn2 Alhamdulillah.. Okay lets go phase by phase shall we..

Family :

Alhamdulillah semua okay, sehat walafiat.. Tu yang paling penting untuk saya. Mereka happy, saya lagi2 happy.. Ramadhan dapat spend few days with them and Syawal pun dapat disambut dgn diorang, alto it was a short Raya, tapi cukup semuanya Alhamdulillah. Syawal pertama kena bagi duit Raya. It feels nice, altho my account feels very light afterwards teehee. Syawal 2011 jugak sgt2 bermakna sebab family Gee sempat meluangkan masa dtg untuk beraya. Alhamdulillah walaupun sesat2, its the thoughts and efforts that count! Hehe. Thanks Gee and family, sgt2 appreciate the time you guys spent altho korang pun memang rushing.. Happyyyy :)

Kerja :

So nak dekat setahun dah kerja kat sini, both of my supervisors pun dah move on, mereka dapat rezeki kat tenpat len pulak. I miss them sometimes tapi thats life hard cold fact in the private world, people jump here and there almost everyday, and I am sure when I am able to do that, I will too. I mean gaji dan benefit yang lebih tinggi dapat dioffer oleh orang len, sure akan amik kan? And I want to secure a very healthy financial background bila dah settle down nanti. Dengan family lagi, dengan babies lagi.. I am not good in investing, but I am quite good in saving money. Sbb harap sangat hidup takde debt except my PTPTN yang masih berbaki RM8.4k, my car loan and in future, a house loan. Semua ni tak mampu kot nak bayar pakai cash..nama pun keje makan gaji.. HMM. Gee, hantaran awak bayar hutang PTPTN saya je boleh tak? Ihik!

Relationship :

Tipu la tak ada ups and downs. Beberapa bulan ni saya and Gee dah rasa our lowest low, and our highest high. Bersyukur dengan nikmat yang Tuhan beri ni, cuma saya sangat berharap rancangan kami dipermudahkan. Segala yang dilakukan sekarang pun memang mengarah ke rancngan yang sedang dibuat. Dan Alhamdulilah juga Gee and I are on the same page. Umur kami yang nak menginjak 2 tahun ni banyak mematangkan kami, lagipun umur masing2 dah tua, priority pun dah berbeza. Priority sekarang banyak ke arah meneguhkan ekonomi masing2. Risau saya kat Gee kurang sket sbb dia duk dgn family, tapi risau mereka2 kat saya adalah berkali2 ganda. Ye lah perempuan, duk kat tempat orang pulak tu.. Tapi dah sedaya upaya menjaga diri sendiri.. :) Btw tak tahu lah jodoh atau apa, boifren adik and ufah jugak nama bermula dgn huruf AZ.. it might be a coincidence.. A beautiful one.. With dear daddy pun nama start with AZ.. :)

Life has been good to me, it taught me a lot.. IAllah dengan kesempatan yang ada, akan lebih belajar lagi kerana ilmu yang ada ni ceteknya tak dapat di ukur..

Regards, Qila

Doa untuk saya and awak..

Salam..

Tak sapa boleh nafi yang aku memang seorang yang emotional dan senang terbawak2 dgn perasaan.
Lebih2 lagi dengan orang yg aku syg..

Ya Allah...


Seandainya telah Engkau catatkan...

Dia milikku tercipta buatku...

Satukanlah hatinya dengan hatiku...

Titipkanlah kebahagiaan antara kami...

Agar kemesraan itu abadi...



Ya Allah...

Ya Tuhanku yang Maha Mengasihani...

Seringkanlah kami melayari hidup ini...

Ketepian yang sejahtera dan abadi...

Maka jodohkanlah kami...



Tetapi Ya Allah...

Seandainya telah Engkau takdirkan

Dia bukan milikku...

Bawalah dia jauh daripada pandanganku...

Luputkanlah dia dari ingatanku...

Dan periharalah aku dari kekecewaan...



Ya Allah ya Tuhanku yang Maha Mengerti...

Berikanlah aku kekuatan...

Menolak bayangannya jauh ke dada langit...

Hilang bersama senja yang merah...

Agarku sentiasa tenang...

Walaupun tanpa bersama dengannya...



Ya Allah yang tercinta...

Pasrahkanlah aku dengan takdir-Mu...



Sesungguhnya apa yang telah Engkau takdirkan

Adalah yang terbaik untukku...

Sesungguhnya Engkau Maha Mengetahui...

Segala yang terbaik buat hamba-Mu ini...



Ya Allah...

Cukuplah Engkau sahaja yang menjadi pemeliharaku...

Di dunia dan akhirat...

Dengarkanlah rintihan daripada hamba-Mu yang daif ini...

Jangan Engkau biarkan aku sendirian...

Di dunia ini mahupun di akhirat...

Menjuruskan aku ke arah kamaksiatan dan kemungkaran...

Maka kurniakanlah aku seorang pasangan yang beriman...

Agar aku dan dia sama-sama dapat membina kesejahteraan hidup...

Ke jalan yang Engkau redhai...

Dan kurniakanlah kepadaku keturunan yang soleh dan solehah...



Ya Allah...

Berikanlah kami kebahagiaan di dunia dan akhirat...

Dan periharalah kami dari azab api Neraka...



Amin...amin...Ya rabbal 'aalamin.

...

No man is worth my tears.

I live and I learn.

Sebab nobody, nobody will catch you when you fall.

And I learn that the hard way.

No man is worth my tears, anymore.

Salam :)

Let me introduce, my latest obsession. 2 hari tak pegang dah rindu ya amat. Weekend ni nak men2 dgn ini budak. Her name is Jijah hee.

Thanks dear daddy for the gift. Will take good care of it. :)

the need to splurge..

Salam :)

Weekends! Tapi gaji belom masuk. I iz sad again. HAHA.

Gaji tak masuk lagi tapi macam dah ada plan for the gajizzz.
Macam nak splurge beli anuzzer Longchamp. Tapi kat Penang pun tadak Longchamp.
Nak beli online, kang putih mata dapat yang fake.

Alahai. Lupa.

I have to start paying for my carzzz.

There goes my Longchamp.

I iz saddddddd.

Regards, Qila

7 colours of you

Salam :)

Kan ada kata2 yang mana Allah turunkan hujan, supaya kita dapat nampak pelangi..
And tu yang saya rasa skrg ni.

Pelangi tu masih samar2, tapi yang pasti ia akan makin terang, iAllah.. Dan yang pasti jugak, hujan akan sentiasa turun, supaya aku lebih menghargai pelangi yang datang selepas hujan reda..

Semoga kita akan tabah menghadapi hujan2 selepas ni, sebab saya nak menikmati pelangi yang cantik, dgn awak. Cuma dgn awak.

Rgrds,
Qla

Kalau...

Salam.

Kalau sedih kita boleh buat apa?
Makan banyak2 sampai kenyang? (hmm nanti gemok lagi susah hati)
Shopping barang2 tak penting atau retail therapy kononnye? (duit habis. HMM)
Kua tanpa arah tujuan? (wasting my petrol, dah la pakai ron95, lagi cepat evaporate haih)
Bsuka ria tak ingat dunia? (then nak bsuke ria 24/7 ke?bukan boleh buang memory tu)

Tapi rasa nak buat cemni.;

Amik air smyang, solat.
Mnum susu segelas, masuk bilik, off lampu.
Nangis (kalau perlu, it releases your stress tau)
Tutup mata, doa yang esok akan jadi lebih baik.
Itu pun kalau masih boleh bnafas kat bumi Allah.
:)

Things will get better, I promise Aqilah.
Life always goes on.
InsyaAllah.

Rgrds,
Qila

white shoes :)

Salam :)

A short update..

Sharing this picture.

I am so having this shoe for my wedding day :)

white, with ribbons. :)

Rgrds,

Qla

Come, and go.

Salam :)

Tamat lah sudah weekend saya. Ill be going to office with a new title this Monday so yeah. Tak tau nak excited or what. 

Spend the weekend with Gee and his family, went to Ferringhi, which I havent stepped on since 2nd year hehe. It was colourful, and fun. And nice because I had the time to spend with Gee, especially. Today we spend Sunday by going to Qbay, after dropping CCQ at home, terus shoot Penang. Had my 2nd experience of Fish Spa, which as always, veryyyyy geli!

you are better than the best :)

And then jalan2 around, beli something at Daiso and then had Jcool with baby Jco, Takoyaki at Jusco with the giant sausage. Sangat wisata kuliner. Just titbits as we had a heavy lunch at Nasi Ayam Periuk Besar which as always, is AWESOMEEE. I had a slight urge to tell Gee to stop by my office for a while, but fight that urge and saying, nothing matters that much to me than the people Im with right then. Ill deal with it tomorrow. I will.

And then he dropped me off at home, saying goodbyes to Angah and Acik, perhaps it will be quite some time before I can see them again, Angah is going to Kemaman, with Acik and my Gee so yeah. It makes me down sometimes but then I know what he is doing now is for the future, our future. So Im letting him spread his wings and fly, although we fly in different direction, we both know our destination will be the same. We will see each other again, very, very soon. Time is nothing when you will share a life together, insyaAllah when He permits it. 

Dem, I miss my parents, and the thought of dear boyfriend is now going to be in Terengganu too, makes me wanna leave everything, and went back home. Just give me two years, and Ill be home. 

Regards, Qila

The call

Salam :(


Hari ni entry lepas perasaan sikit.

BOLEH TAK JANGAN CALL AKU TIME MAGHRIB?
BOLEH TAK KALAU JGN TANYE SOALAN YANG KAU DA TAU AKU XDE JAWAPAN SEBAB MEMORY OTAK AKU TAK SAMA DENGAN MEMORY PC AKU KAT OFIS?
BOLEH TAK KALAU KAU JANGAN TUNJUK PANDAI SANGAT?


PEH panas gila ni. Serius!Benci kalau orang tanya soalan yang dia tau kita takkan boleh jawab sebab the infos are at the fucking office, and it was already 730pm, office time is fuckin over!

I was really just doing a favour by answering your fucking call!

Rasa nak buat nak block HER fon number after office hours. Nomor orang lain oke je, they dont annoy me so much.

Memang aku pilih org. Well, bad luck, you are not my chosen one.

Fuhh. Tido jom.

Regards, Qila

Engaged? :)

Salam :)

First of all I am NOT engaged, YET. And perhaps never will be, UNLESS the engagement duration is a day before my wedding day OR few hours before my akad nikah. :) Yep I dont have any plans to get engaged because I prefer to be married straightaway. Skipping the engaged phase, if I can.

So I was suprised when a senior engineer asked me 'Are you engaged?' and I know he is asking not in a gatal manner because he is married, he is not a Muslim and he is OLD. Hee. So I answered 'Engaged? No, not yet. But going to be.' with a smile. Just because he noticed that I wore a ring on my ring finger so he decided to ask. And I like pretending that I am engaged, married to avoid unnecessary attention, not that I got a lot, but just to avoid questions that is closely related to my personal life.

Rings are accessories that I love very much. Not the flashy RM29/piece from F21 or Miss Selfridge or Diva. I rather spend a bomb for a ring that I really2 love than buying 5 rings that is pretty but doesnt last that long. :)    
I go for quality, more than quantity for special items like this. Its a one off buy that I just feel like splurging myself that weekend, and yep, I got myself a nice ring. Which makes people mistaken me for being engaged. Which feels nice. :)

This is a very random post. Gee has been very chirpy about my lack of posts, so random goes to you babe :)

Regards, Qila

one year, 6 months.

Salam :)

Happy birthday to US! Happy anniversary syg, its our 18months birthday :)

Kami sentiasa doa jodoh kita sampai akhir hayat insyaAllah.

Kita jaga apa kita ada, and kita improve apa yang patut k?

I can see my future, and my future have you in it.

Lets be together always, cause you and me as a team, we are pretty damn good. Lets keep it that way.

Thank you, for being my conscience, my confidante, someone I could trust.

I love you.

Regards, Qila

of family..

Salam :)

Its close to friday and I am in a highhh~ Seronoknya bila weekends are getting nearerrr. Last weekend was the best, my parents was up north, seeing their middle daughter, which havent set foot on Trg soil for almost 4 months~ *sigh* I miss KT  bad :(

So the parents' trip was awesome, aside from the accidents we saw on the highway, plus the jams.. And the bad food at Padang Besar *cannot explain* but it was erased when my dearest Gee came, suprised 3 of us by showing up unannounced :) So sebagai seorang Aqilah of courseeee I bagi jelingan hikmat.. Sebab I was sms-ing him the whole journey. Tapi ada dia bagitau? Tadak. Nak kasi suprise. Hamboi :p And I was pretty happy with myself, both my parents chillax je datang cni sebab I was driving, ibu and ayah jadi bos and mem besaqqq :))

Spend some moolah on them, tak banyak pun as my gaji is still ciput but nanti2 insyaAllah.. :) So planning going home on labour day, harap semua goin on smoothly.. Sent them back on Sunday night, with Gee's family and a lot of buah tangan from them, thanks very2 much. The mangga and ikan pekasammmm. Nyummmmy. Sent them with a wave and was relieved when they sms me saying they reach safely. And that weekend was the best.

Then spent Tuesday with Gee, got home early and went off for some food hunting and movie watching. Watched Sucker Punch which is AWESOME :) and spend some quality time together. We both needed that sometimes. Walk around just both of us in our little world :)

This weekend iAllah ill spend it good. My posts now lacks of pictures, I dont find picture taking a neccesity anymore. Ehe, Im getting so oldddddd, but that means Im old enough to kahwin! HAHA. Syg pls jgn takut, but Ill ask u nonetheless..

Will u Mohamad Azizi, ask me to marry you?

HAHA. Im asking u an indirect question, pls answer carefully. :)

Regards, Qila

Whatever, really.

Salam. :|

Just hoping that I can get through this phase of life. Just hoping that when some things become horribly, horribly wrong, some things can balance it back and make everything all right. Right now, my work is one thing that Im easily frustrated with. And if my personal life become the same thing, I am pretty sure that I will be in trouble. Because right now it seems to me that everything is not all right, and what Im afraid the most is if I am no longer in control. Because if Im not, Ill lose everything. Everything.

So dear WORK,
Pls be nice to me, because you suck me dry from Monday to Friday, from 8am to 530pm, sometimes more.

dear LIFE,
Pls be understanding and if I am selfish like this, pls let me be selfish, I have nothing else to look forward to. If you dont, cant or tired of understanding, tell me and perhaps lets both of us find another place, or even find another life, because we know, we are to precious to be f'ing angry at each other. So tell me dear Life, what is your feeling. And we'll work something out.

Truly right now the only comfort Im getting is the companionship of my handphone. But right now Im not so sure. Seriously I can handle nothing at this moment. Its like a town is at war, and all the guards are down. Enemies keep hitting at the right spot, and within few secs, all is gone.

I hope I can have my guards back.

I hope I can put up a fight.

I hope I wont give in.

Well, I can sure hope right?
And truly when I say those words, you should see my face. Even I dont believe my words.

Whatever, really. As long as I tak susahkan orang lain, seriously, whatever.

Regards,Qila

PLAN

Salam :|

First time bawak keje balik rumah. Tak pening pun planning. Perghs. Need to concentrate sangat2 and me having short term concentration span... Hopeless.

Tgk baru bukak Production Plan Loading punya Master File dah lencong tulis blog. Pesss. Hee. Mampus sok meeting HUUU :(

I cant help but wondering how is working as an engineer. Bukan tak bersyukur, I mean I can still go for engineer post later in life tapi you know.. Tgk engineer bekerja, its exciting and at the same time sgt stressing. Well my job is stressful too. Boleh gileee. HAHA. IAllah I can cope, just have to manage my time very wisely, kurangkan mistakes and try to think outside the box. Production are full of suprises you know. Hari ni nak jalan this thing, tapi boleh je tgh2 malam call and said they want to run other thing. Production is one thing, planning is the other. Mencuba utk faham di sini ye ;)

Sayanggg nak makan toti bakar pls sama2. I miciuuu.

Rgrds, Qila

Salam :)

Selamat Tinggal - Zizan Ft Dina

Selamat tinggal kawanku
Tak mudah aku pergi
Bila wajahmu
Sentiasa di hati ini

Ok

Dah memang
Bukan mudah untuk ku menerima hakikat
Dalam hidup ini sentiasa ku tersekat
Apa yang ku harapkan
Kasih sayang yang suci murni
Tetapi semuanya hilang setelah kau pergi
Dulu hari-hari ku berwarna warni
Kini kian mendung
Ia tinggal satu memori
Jangan jangan lepaskan genggamanku ini
Hidupku hanya bermakna jika kau di sini
Mana janji mana erti
Kenapa gembiraku kini menjadi sepi
Musnah segala apa yang ku impikan
Tetapi ku tetap tabah
Kerana Tuhan yang menentukan

Kau tetap pergi apakan daya
Walaupun ku telah mencuba sedaya upaya
Ku harapkan ini sesuatu yang kekal
Namun ku terpaksa melepaskanmu baby
Selamat tinggal

Tiada ertinya kau tinggalkan aku
Sedangkan teramat ku mengasihi dirimu
Cuba ingat semua yang kita pernah lalui
Sayang bukalah fikiranmu kembali
Ku tak mahu hidup tanpamu di sisi
Hanya kau seorang yang pernah aku kasihi

Jangan pergi jangan pergi
Jangan tinggalkan aku begini
Jika aku yang engkau cintai
Kenapa semua ini
Kenapa semua ini
Mengapa semua ini
Jika aku yang kau cinta
Mengapa semua ini

Kenapa semua jadi begini
Kenapa mengapa 

(jangan pergi, jangan pergi, jangan tinggalkan aku begini)

Selamat tinggal kawanku

(usah pergi)
Tak mudah aku pergi

(jangan biarkan ku menderita)
Bila wajahmu
Sentiasa di hati ini

(aku sentiasa di dalam dada kamu sayang)

Walau ku pergi sayangku

(usah pergi)
Dalam jiwaku ini
Kaulah cintaku yang kekal
Selamat tinggal 

(jangan biarkan ku menderita disini, jangan biarkan ku terseksa disini sayang)

Selamat tinggal kawanku

(usah pergi)
Tak mudah aku pergi

Bila wajahmu sentiasa di hati ini

(aku sentiasa di dalam dada kamu sayang)

Walau ku pergi sayangku

(jangan pergi)
Dalam jiwaku ini
Kaulah cintaku yang kekal
Selamat tinggal 

(aku menyintai dirimu sayang, jangan biarkan aku sendiri disini sayang)

Kaulah cintaku yang kekal
Selamat tinggal

The song that keeps repeating in my mind. First because I never expect Zizan to sound this good hehe. And second, it gives a story of a friend who is also a lover and how lucky and unlucky for them to meet, part, meet again and part, forever..

Im a sucker for romantic vclips and this is surely one of the vclips that got me teary eyed at the end of it. T_T

Hope my love story will be much happier than this. At least kalau la masa saya nanti tiba, saya harap saya dapat memberitahu orang2 yang saya sayang bahawa saya sayangkan diorang. I want them to know how much I love them.

I should stop. Raining outside and inside ni.

p/s : Appreciate, love and care. Time is something some people dont have much of. I dont know why but I love this quote..

Regards, Qila

To the person I love the most.

Salam. :)

March 19th. My father is a year older, a year wiser. But I still call him birthday boy, despite he has been the man, the ONLY man that I put higher above anyone at all. The man I love the most, forever. Tak pernah takut untuk cakap akan sayangkan lelaki ini selama2 nya, sebab I know, he will love me forever back. I never say forever to any boyfriends, but to him, he is my forever. My future husband have a big shoe to fill in, because I expect my children to have a father just like my ayah. So dear future husband, pls berguru dengan ayah dulu before thinking of having any mini u and me running around ;)

Sedih tak dapat celebrate, adik was in campus and ufah just landed. Will make it up to them, promise.

Just a shout to my dearest, the person I love the most,

Azman T.A, I love you, and have a nice birthday. Looking forward for your next and next and many many next. I promise if Im not there in person, a text before 8 will arrive, saying..

Happy birthday ayah! Semoga panjang umur, murah rezeki. I love you. :))

I love you.

Regards, Qila

Thank you.

Salam :)

Alhamdulillah. Bahagia dengan kehidupan sekarang. Walaupun separuh hari dihabiskan dengan memerah otak dan tenaga, tapi at the end of the day, dapat jumpa orang tercinta, dapat dengar khabar,suara keluarga walaupun sekadar telefon je, cukup untuk saya. Sesungguhnya bersyukur dengan keadaan sekarang.

Semoga rezeki saya dan Gee lama di sini. Saya semakin terbiasa dengan ada nya dia. Semoga semua yang kami plan, iAllah akan jadi kenyataan. Doakan saya, dia, kami :)

Thanks Gee, for being here. Thanks, for being you. Thank you.

Regards, Qila

Furry friend

Salam :(

Gee's baby persian cat dah takde. Nobody is confirmed about her name so I just called her Baby. Baru hari tu main2 dengan baby and she looks fine. Allah lagi sayang kan dia. Sedih sgt. And Im sure Gee's family lagi sedih. IAllah ada rezeki ada lagi adik2 baby yg len. And I myself bila dah ada family nak bela kucing tak kisah lah stray cats or luxury cats kalau ada rezeki.. IAllah..

Gee, nak macam ni pls? So adorablee

*pic from Lowyat.net

Regards, Qila

Random

Salam :)

Wiken datang lagiiii~ Heee. Seronok2! 2 days of rests. Rest ke? Kadang2 kenaaa je datang kilang. Perghh feeling2 Employee of the month skjap HEE.

Just want to share, I used to love surfing and shopping things online. I mean, kadang2 everyday adaaa je benda sampai. Dah siap boleh hafal and cam bunyi abang PosLaju send barang ha. Tu zaman2 belajar and duit yang ada memang untuk makan and shopping semata2. Sekarang? I still like surfing through the things, tapi cuci mata je la. Shopping online is not a luxury I can afford anymore.Most of my money is for food, rent and gas. Yang lebih2 simpan sikit2 untuk rainy days, macam the time when my car got scratched, sakit hati sangat sebab hari2 tgk so I spent some moolah to repair it. Gone saving 1 month. Haih.

And since I now wear headscarf, I loveee browsing thru blogs yang jual nice and beautiful shawls, scarves. Rasa nak beliiiiiii. Tapi since I dont wear canggih manggih shawl style to work due to my work's nature, rasa rugi pulak. My work requires me to be on the move. Im on my feet every other 5 minutes, ke sana ke mari macam anak ayam. Actually I can settle everything thru fon je, tapi for a newbie macam moi, I rather go and talk face to face to understand that prob. Everything is a lesson, everyday :) So pakai shawl atau clothings yang meletops pun tak guna. Hari2 pakai boyfriend jeans, t shirts with cardi and tudung express. SIAP! :) And lagipun all those beautiful shawls online MAHALLL. I mean memang patut la mahal because of the materials, and the design, tapi pikir 2-3 kali jugak laa nak beli.. sebab for me, yang ada ni pun tak pakai habis lagi weee. So I beli inner kalerful banyak2, so nampak la the difference sedikit sebanyak HAHA.

Random : Lapaq satay and coolblog.. Pretty pls? :)

P/s : #prayforjapan. Hold on strong. Our prayers are for u. And harap2 rakyat Malaysia kat sana semua oke and selamat. Loves.

Regards, Qila

Back just for a while :)

Salam :)

Been away for quite a longgg time. Perhaps because my February wasnot that fun, but am not regretting anything TEEHEE. So here we are, MARCH! 4 months already into working life... which is...great. 4 months of living up north.. which is... great.

Apa2 lahh but my update for February is

• I am 23 on the 18th! Yayyy happy birthday to meeeee :)
• I scratched my OWN car, cost me RM200 to repair, my saving for the month, GONE. Sigh. Have to sebab of the guilt  have towards my parents. Dem I love them :)
• I finally met Polar's baby. She brought a smile to my face everytime I see her :))
• Berjaya puasa nafkah batin *WAHAHAHA* batin la sangat haha. Did not see dear bf for a month walaupun the distance is 90km/1h45m drive because he is away everyyy weekeeeendd :p

Oteh thats all.
Tired because of the new wedges which I lurrrrveeeeee and the money spending spree. HAHA. Queensbay sangat menggoda *sigh*

23 :)

So with that..

Regards, Qila

bam bam

Salam :)

Using that smiley, doesnt mean Im happy. Im very worried ni >:(

Im getting bam bam. I know when I wore my fav jeans it doesnt feel that loose like it used to. (or maybe sebab baru basuh so ketat skit?)

I worked so hard losing the kilos tapi it is soooo easy to get them back! Argh.

This week kena minum susu pagi and malam.

No more nasi. No moooooree.

Wish me luck and harapnya saya akan beristiqamah. Kalau x dinner I can save some moolah and spend it on the weekend. :D

Yes, weekend adalah motivasi.

Hari ni cirit birit God knows why. I saspek the telur sotong is the culprit. Sebab selama ni makan nasi kandar with ayam goreng I takde ape pun? Grrr. No more telur sotong!! :( The housemate bagi petua utk hilangkan cirit birit minum teh pekat tanpa gula. Well it works for me. Selepas 1 hari berulang alik ke toilet. Last sekali merasa camni adalah semasa di Jakarta. 2 minggu I diare oke. Pocari sweat pulak takde kat sini. *sigh*

p/s : hoping 4 bars of gas will last thru the week. Malas nya nak pegi isi minyak. Summo my ride is blocked.
p/s2 : hoping this week will be better thab the week before, InsyaAllah.
p/s3 : Praying for the Muslims at Egypt, moga diorang akan kembali tenang dan lebih rasional selepas apa yang berlaku. Amin

Regards, Qila

Untitled

Salam :|

Fiuh, cant believe feeling better after spilling everything. Just few words and tears, and Im as good as new. Hoping this feeling will last for a long time. Insya Allah.

Regards, Qila

Life

Salam :|

What a holiday. Dah nak habis dah pun. Spent it without the people that meant the most for me. Well, that's life kan?

YOU DONT ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT.

Tapi seorang Aqilah bukan nya se'mature' tu. Masih berusaha menjadi seorang yang mempunyai hati yang besar. Tapi selalu je gagal sebab kepala hotak ni dah tune for 22 years - I ALWAYS GET WHAT I WANT, AND WHEN I WANT IT. IF I SAY NOW, I WANT IT NOW.

Bila nak berubah? God knows. Bila nak jadi mature? God knows. Bila nak ada hati yang besar? God knows. Bila nak paham situation? God knows.

Dalam otak macam ada kapas yang tekan kat hidung sampai mata rasa nak keluar and tak boleh nafas. Im feeling like Im having a panic attack. Over and over I keep repetiting to myself. Time is all that I needed, and time is something that I dont have, much. People keep saying, nanti2 ada lah and stuff, tapi menjadi seorang Aqilah, I dislike the word nanti. Walaupun I used it often. I dislike waiting. Anything that can shorten my time to spare for the people who means a lot to me, I hate.

Tapi untuk menenangkan hati, cuma satu ayat je. Dua perkataan.

THAT'S LIFE.

And life is not perfect. Yeah right. Whatever.

***

Yes I am not in a good mood for the past few days(weeks???) and I dont know how to make it right. If anyone have a clue how to be happy-artificially, do let me know *senyum plastik*

Regards, Qila

Stick on it

Salam.

Nota untuk diri sendiri,


Aqilah,

Sudah-sudahlah menjadi childish.
BURUK.

Yang benar,
sisi gelap seorang Aqilah

Regards, Qila

Sighs

Salam. :|

The weekend is over. *sigh* Macam2 buat. Went out with the girls, made banoffee, shopping, sesat looking for a baking shop, meroyan dekat Giant.. Tapi feels like something is missing.

Oh I didnt spend time with my bf this weekend. No wonder it 2 days feels longer than it should. Hmm.

.
..
...
....

T_T

I redho.

Is looking forward for another early weekend. Am spending CNY here at Kulim, wont be back at KT. I redho again.

Regards, Qla

Hm~

Salam :)

Dalam ngantuk2 ni, sempat lg update weee haha. Series ngantuk, sebab letih otak kat ofis and kenyang makan dinner tadi. Macam kucing gemok bergelimpangan haha.

Anywaayyy.. today makan sendiri. Semalam and the day before makan ditemani boyfriend, is the nicest thing that happen to me this week. Rasa macam time belajar2 dulu, he will pick me up and we go have dinner mana2 yang berkenan kat hati, tak kesah pun ada kelas ke tak esok pagi. Kalau ada pun kelas pagi, nak skip pun tak kisah. Sekarang? Boleh ke skip keje? No no no no.. Haruslah paycheck itu angka sama setiap bulan ye. Nasib la berkenalan dengan boyfriend kesayangan masa jadual kitorang pun banyak free, final year student katenya kan. See syg, Im good at planning HAHAH. Tp yang paling bersyukur adalah ditemukan saya dgn dia, walaupun jumpa tiap2 hari for almost 2 years already, tapi pada tahun ketiga baru dipautkan hati dan perasaan. Teringat ada kawan saya sebut pasal kisah kitorang. Cinta Mentos katanya hahaha. A silent observer, tak tahu pun dia observe sebegitu sekali kisah kitorang berdua. And memang our story starts with a packet of Mentos :)

Masih berbaki 2 hari kerja minggu ni. Cepatlah weekend, cepatlah cuti.. Maybe tak jumpa Gee this weekend bcos of his work, tapi terharu sangat bila dia cakap ganti dengan dinner with me for the past 2 days. Bcos he knows I will meroyan if missed out seeing him on the weekend. Nak buat macam mana.. But I will control my meroyan-ness oke. Takmo buat dia susah. :)

Tringat last weekend when I buat meroyan and then dia call slowtalk and everything. Dlu if either one meroyan, yang sorang lagi akan buat keras and meroyan sama. Tanak kalah. Sekarang Alhamdulillah sama2 dah paham kan? Sorang meroyan sorang lagi cub reason out. Give and take :)

Owh dem mata berattttt sgt. Btw Gee, where are uuuu?

Regards, Qila

Life, Ifs.

Salam :(

In life, I wanted to be understood, but what happens if I dont understand other people enough?
In life, I wanted to stay the same, but what if people around me started saying 'You've changed, why?'
In life, I wanted to appreciate time that has been given to me, but what if other people dont have the time that Iv been blessed with, will I become mature enough to realize that other people dont revolve around me?
In life, I wanted to be the best, but what if the best means sacrificing other people feelings, and even hearts?
In life, I had certain goals, but what if the person involved doesnt want to be a part of it? Should I force them to stay, knowing they're unhappy?
In life, Ive been blessed with many things, but what if those things makes me arrogant, and thinks Im above all of them?
In life, I just want to be happy, but will me being happy make others, unhappy?
Will they love me that much to sacrifice their own happiness, for mine?
Will my conscience be clean when I figure everything out?
Will Ill be able to look myself straight in the eyes, and smile?

I dont think so.

So yes, Im 100% perfect. Perfectly unperfect.
And I have to deal with it.

Regards, Qila

Ouhh

Salam :)

Its cold this morning. Actually every morning pn sejuk, but I havent got a chance to appreciate, Im always rushing to get ready. Then on a weekend like this, I can finally relax and said, its cold brr.

Wanting to go to Pasar pagi but Im blocked

***

Okay dah habis cerita nak pergi pasar pagi. Pergi dan pulang dah pun ZZZZZ. In the end, I have to move my friend's car in order to get my own out. So pertama kali membawa kereta orang len walaupun glabah tahap cipan. Glabah for wat I dunno sebab kete tu pun auto jugak WEEE. Nama pun barang orang so haruslah saya berasa kurang selesa dan takut jadi apa2.. HMM.

So beli breakfast dan barangan seronok menggunakan bajet minggu ini, ada lebih lagi, HARUS ada lebih untuk menyara kehidupan minggu depan heee. Alhamdulillah, rasanya this month dah start saving some moolah, harapnya akan berterusan. Kalau tak dapat menyimpan lebih, harapnya masih dapat amaun yang sama every month hee.

Tomorrow is a double celebration. My mommy's birthday. I miss her so much. :( and my anniversary with Gee. I miss him too. :(

Regards, Qila

:)

Salam :)

Just got back from a happy weekend spent with Gee and fam :) Sakit pinggang, bukan sbb drive but sebab Im having the time of the month, so semuaaaa sakit ppfftss. So the time of the month kinda spoil the weekend la a lil bit sbb I was grumpy and my mouth are too lazy to string some words and turn them into sentences. Sorrrryy syg :(

This week is going to be YEAAHH sebab kerja 3 hari sahaja. Thanks to Keputeraan Sultan Kedah and Thaipusam public hols on the same work week. YEAHHH :) Means weekends are going to be much closer heee SUKAA.

So this weekend spent by going to Perlis, just chill with Gee n fam, watching movie(Khurafat btw, boleh laa. Makes Gee jump so kalau nak tgk oke kot. Nex wik we plan to see Shock Labyrinth, kalau the reviews on the net is okay) and just spent time, together. It was nice, sbb the whole idea of us meeting on weekends are just spending time together. I dont need to go shopping, I dont need to watch movies, I dont need to drive around places, I dont even need to eat at special joints, just spending time together is cool enough. For me, sitting at Yasmeen eating nasi kandar and watch people, talk and laugh satisfy me more than watching a movie. Seriously. I love hearing him talk, sebab during our early courtship, I was the one who talks, A LOT. And I seem to spill everything about me so that he will know the worst and the better of me. Becos if he chose to walk away then, I can still mend my heart, I havent fall that hard, and my feelings arent that deep. But he seems to be okay with my flaws, and accept me for who I am. Now its my turn to hear him talk, and we are still learning from each other :)

So it is still isnt too late for me to list what I have accomplished for 2010, kan? ehe. Here goes :)

• Graduated and got my Engineering degree :)
• Gee meeting my fam and both fam meeting each other :)
• We turned 1 year old, Gee+Me :))
• I got CCQ :D
• I lost 5 kgs TEEHEE
• Changed for the better, IAllah, I finally worn tudung. :)
• Trying to make  living, and being independent, Im now staying at up north.

Some of what I have planned I have still not complished yet, like my plans to get my Masters, my plans to make my parents proud and happy, my plans of having a family, my plans of buying the tiny 'If you think Im cute, you should see my mom' baby rompers, my plans of kitting up CCQ, my plans of buying a house, my plans of many, many things. I wish I am on the right path, and will continue until everything is in my hands.

So syg, my updates for xx weeks, all in one. My days arent that fun, xcept when I get to see you, and those days are only on weekends. So till I see u again nex weekend, I love you, without wax.

Regards, Qila

It rains, it pours.

Salam :|

Why is it when its all good, its good.
And when its bad, its really bad?
Why cant the good cancels out the bad,
and we can all live happily ever after?

Because we know that this is real life.
If its a fairytale, there'll never be a bad moment in life.
It will always be happily ever after. Always.

And people will always be nice,
People will always think of you, like the way you think of them.
People will always understand, and people will always spreading their arms,
Waiting to give u a big hug.

I am in a need of a warm embrace, and a whisper saying
'Everything will be allright, everything will be allright.'

Regards, Qila